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Me and My Shadow

Writing in my journal and painting are the ways I meditate. I recently sat to “meditate meditate” for five minutes and “received” the image of a dog chasing its tail. Could this is what it looks like to chase one’s shadow — or to be chased by our shadow self?

We all have a shadow self. It’s is the part of us that we don’t see or don’t want to admit we have. Like the dark side of the moon, it remains a mystery until we become aware of it enough to embark on a “personal shadow adventure.”

Learning to recognize when our shadow self is active can dramatically impact our lives.

Before painting, I sketch the idea. It’s important to know that it all fits on the page!

Before painting, I sketch the idea. It’s important to know that it all fits on the page!

“That which we do not bring to consciousness appears in our lives as fate.” ~ Carl Jung

If our shadow self snaps at others when we’re cranky or annoyed and we become aware that’s what’s happening, we might be able to soften our responses — or apologize once we realize it’s happened.

There’s more that I don’t know about shadow selves than I do know. Lately, it keeps coming up in my awareness in the form of questions.

We’re each unique — and there’s a “boat-load” of unique individuals on Earth today. I believe we’re here for a reason, and the reason must be HUGE! Why else would there be so many of us?

If only we knew why! The reason could lie in the shadow self of our collective consciousness.

Last autumn, I awoke to a booming (I MEAN BOOMING!) voice in my head saying,

“EVERYTHING CHANGES!”

It scared me. I had NO idea what it meant. Of course, everything changes, everything always changes!

We often think we know what’s happening, or what to expect next, but we don’t know. We live with a false sense of security.

I’m no psychiatrist. I’m an introspective artist consciously choosing to make friends with my shadow self.

Is the shadow self the one who stops us from moving forward when we feel fear or shame?

Is it as simple (and mean) as the “inner critic”? The one who wakes us up at night to berate us for something we did or didn’t do the day before?

Is the shadow self the part that thinks we have to be perfect before we share our work with the world?

Is the shadow the part of us that thinks we DON’T have anything worth sharing?

Is the shadow self the one who “flies off the handle” when we’re frustrated?

“Who’s Pulling the Strings?” — You, Your Shadow, or the Great Unknown? Do you notice anything different between this photo and the previous photo?

“Who’s Pulling the Strings?” — You, Your Shadow, or the Great Unknown? Do you notice anything different between this photo and the previous photo?

For now, let’s make friends with the shadow as best we can and continue asking questions.

Mental Hygiene

Stress takes a toll, even on the most positive among us. Have you found a new rhythm to your life yet?

Each day is an adventure; my moods fluctuate roller-coaster style all day long.

A new painting begins

A new painting begins

Until recently, our daily habits sustained us. We might need new habits.

Physical habits like brushing our teeth are a must and are so ingrained we’re not in danger of losing them.

It’s time to cultivate habits that help maintain our emotional & mental health.

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We are our thoughts and feelings, as much, maybe more than we are our physical bodies.

We’re being reminded to wash our hands more than ever (and that’s a good thing); it’s time to start “washing our thoughts” — or at least to be aware of them.

Feelings come from somewhere. It’s often the mental chatter going on in the background of our mind that triggers our emotions.

I think you can guess who this will be

I think you can guess who this will be

“What were you thinking?” (I heard Mom’s voice as I typed that phrase.)

Seriously, what were you thinking just now? It can be helpful to pay attention to our thoughts.

“Monkey Mind” refers to the crazy thoughts that wake us up in the middle of the night, feeding our worries and fears.

It might be easy to push fears aside when we’re awake, but the monkeys come out to play when our defenses are down. Trying to rein in Monkey Mind in the middle of the night is fruitless. Nighttime is not the time to calm fears or tame thoughts.

What if the simple act of mentally acknowledging our fears during the day kept the monkeys off our backs and out of our heads at night?

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Watching our thoughts and acknowledging our emotions during the day is a habit to be cultivated at any age. Set a timer to go off at random times and ask yourself what you were thinking when it goes off. Apps like “Mood Meter” make it even easier.

Was your last thought helpful?

Did it make you feel good or bad in the moment?

Was it a thought that you want to repeat to yourself?

Studies show that we have thousands of thoughts a day, that we repeat up to 95% of them from one day to the next, and that up to 80% of our thoughts are negative.

Thoughts gain momentum.

Are your thoughts taking you to a happy place or to the dumps?

Mental Hygiene might take extra time in the beginning, but each time you catch yourself in a troubling thought, you’re on the path to mental clarity.

It’s easier to rein in negative thoughts before they’re stampeding full-steam ahead. The more we do it, the easier it gets. We seem to have time to start this work now.

Albert is available as in 11x14 matted prints, email patrice@artofaloha.com

Albert is available as in 11x14 matted prints, email patrice@artofaloha.com

Think Better Thoughts. Rinse, Repeat.

Thoughts Feed Fear or Thoughts Feed Love.

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely.

Give Yourself a HUG!

I didn’t grow up in a family that “hugged.” Well, maybe Grandma and the Aunts hugged, but well, at best that felt weird.

Hugging was something I picked up when I went to college in the ‘70s — hugging was “big” then.

I moved about 150 miles away from home to go to the UW-Madison (Go Badgers!). I loved living in Madison. I lived there until I moved to Honolulu 20 years ago. By the time I moved to Hawaii, my family had gotten used to giving and receiving hugs.

SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) introduced me to Self-hugs when I studied with her in 2016.

For the most part, my moods during the pandemic have been pretty good — fluctuating between “pookie” and feeling really happy several times throughout each day.

This is what “Pookie” looks like.

This is what “Pookie” looks like.

One day, I felt so happy that I felt guilty. Fortunately, when a friend said my happiness was like a gift for her, my guilt vanished.

Sometimes, especially when feeling isolated, giving yourself a great big hug and pretending that you’re hugging someone too far away can be a substitute until the next time you meet.

What if it’s possible to send virtual hugs to those you love just by projecting love to them while hugging yourself — truly hugging yourself.

Who’s to say it’s not?

Are you ready for a hug?

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Open your arms wide and wrap them around yourself. Stretch to put your hands all the way around your body, with one arm on top of the other. Try to touch your back, that’s how far you want to reach your arms.

Now squeeze — HUG! Kiss your shoulders for extra sweetness.

Then rewrap your hands around your body with the opposite arm on top of the other.

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You’ve just given yourself a double hug and received the benefits of a hug.

Do hugs have benefits? You bet!

Hugs can soothe you if you’re feeling stressed. Your blood pressure can go down, and you can momentarily forget your woes.

Hugs allow your body to release oxytocin into your bloodstream. That’s the natural hormone also known as the “happy hormone.”

Hugs can help strengthen your immune system by creating white blood cells.

One day we might be able to freely hug again. Until then, Hug Yourself!

I hope you’ll let Hugging Yourself become a regular part of your self-love.

(To watch me draw these illustrations, go to https://www.facebook.com/PatriceArtOfAloha/ and scroll to the video. Then give yourself another HUG!)

Angels are Looking

When I was fresh out of college, a man I worked with scrawled a poem on a cocktail napkin and left it for me to find. It read:

Angels are looking
For new skies to fly in
A virgin space for wingspread
It is your head.
God waits to be born.

I imagined myself in love with this man whose name I can’t quite recall. Fortunately, it was unrequited; he had issues I didn’t know how to handle.

Every once in a while the poem pops into my head and I smile. I still love it and all of the possibilities it represents.

Each day dawns ripe with possibility, which ones will we grasp? Which call will we answer? What new way of living, of seeing the world will we embrace?

Or will we continue down the same habitual path we're currently walking?

It may not always seem as though we have options. We have tried and true ways of doing things — and these ways work.

We can find new ways of looking at the world, new eyes through which to see it — if we try.

Habits streamline life and help us take care of business in a timely manner. Yet taken to the extreme, they can become ruts, making escape difficult.

When redundancy becomes a way of life, we’re in the “dead zone”.

Our souls crave the mystery of the unknown. That’s where our creative spirit thrives.

Challenges and obstacles are opportunities for growth. The balance beam of a life worth living spans the gap between routine and adventure.

Let's take an inventory of our habits. Which habits serve us and which ones are keeping us a bit too safe?

Are your habits moving you closer to the life you want to live or not? You get to decide!

“Our self-image and our habits tend to go together. Change one and you will automatically change the other.” ~ Dr. Maxwell Maltz