Yes, of course, I get scared. How could I not have moments of fear? The Hilton Hawaiian Village, my marketplace, is a ghost town — which is as it should be. The islands are on Shelter-in-Home orders.

This is out of our hands, out of our control. We like to feel in control and these times are bigger than us.

It’s comforting to know that none of us are alone in this. We’re all experiencing this at the same time. We’re all human, feeling the panoply of emotions, going through quite the equalizing experience.

Introverts use alone time to recharge their energy before going out in public. Extroverts recharge while out in public.

My coach/friend Aletta de Wal calls herself an “extroverted-introvert.” I’ve adopted the moniker as well. We’ve learned to monitor our times in public and balance them with alone time.

I imagine the amount of alone time we’re experiencing now is more difficult for extroverts than for introverts.

From SARK, I learned the Inner Feelings Care System. It’s important to feel your emotions as they move through you. It’s important to let them move.

Emotions = Energy in Motion. If they get stuck or tamped down, they can wreak havoc on your body.

Feel your emotions and then send them thanks. Talk to them.

Your emotions are your personal
“emergency broadcasting station.”

They have messages for you, it’s okay to ask for clarification.

Often the message is to not take your thoughts too seriously, especially if you’re starting to freak out.

Freak-out moments can mean that you’ve moved off the truth of who you really are. You are love incarnate.

We don’t have to believe our panic or fear. Acknowledge it, yes; believe it, no.

Name your emotion. “Oh, this is fear” or “Oh, this is panic.” It is not YOU, it’s an emotion running through you. Rather than push it away, recognize it for what it is. Feel it and it will move on.

This is a Sacred Moment in Time.

Our fears are reminding us that we’re human. Our personal divinity is knocking at the door wanting to be let into our life, waiting to be acknowledged.

“Accidental Angels” and the three heart paintings I’ve painted the past three months came in preparation for this moment of time.

We’ve been preparing for this moment our entire lives. Live well and mind your heart.

Thank you, Spirit. Thank you, Inner Wise Self. Thank you, hands, paints, brushes, paper, & the past almost 20 years of painting!

I attended two SARK retreats in June, one in Portland and another in Carmel. I felt joy and excitement before and during both of these retreats.

During the past nine months, I attended all of the online classes and in-person retreats. I filled two journals with notes and began shifting the ways in which I create my world.

I felt great, focused and excited about the process everyday … until I didn’t.

Anxiety rose up to meet me a week before the final retreat in Portland. I was shocked this was totally unexpected!

I turned to my watercolor paper and painted my anxiety while teaching my Hide-N-Seek painting method at a “Playshop” for the Hawai`i Watercolor Society on September 30th.

The painting began horizontally.

As my left arm circled the brush round and round, my right arm made the infinity symbol with the brush moving from left to right and back again. All the while I verbally and visually explained my inner feelings.

My left hand described my frustration with going over the same learning cycle, again and again, feeling stuck, seeing the same issues rising up over and over in my mind. (Remember the Onion from the last post?)

At the same time, my right hand explained my desire to break free of this cycle.

Step two of this painting process is the removal of texture, revealing the underpainting. It was then that a heart appeared, and I knew this painting would be vertical.

On the second day of the final SARK retreat, I watched in awe as Dr. Scott Mills drew out the exact structure of my fresh underpainting on the flip chart for the class.

Scott explained that it’s easy to get stuck in the seductive loop of learning and that it’s essential to break free from that loop so we do the work we’ve come here to do.

We need to use all of our learning
or we’re wasting everyone’s time.

Learning and Doing are parts of the infinity loop. One side feeds the other. If we get stuck on either side, we’re out of balance.

I’m committed to learn and evolve throughout the whole of my life. Now I have more tools with which to do my internal excavation.

The deeper I dig, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more questions I have and the more potential and possibility I find. And the more I have to give and share with others.

The world appears to be “out there”. Yet the VAST majority of it lies “in here” — within and for all of us.

That’s why I’m inviting you to join me for my first ever 7-Day Creative Cruise through the Hawaiian Islands, August 4–11, 2018.

Together we will Discover Paradise Inside and Out.

The official pre-launch is in December. Find out first by sending an email to me: Patrice@artofaloha.com. Please put cruise in the subject line so I’m sure to respond quickly.

I’ll share with you the processes I know to dig down deeper within and outside our selves, to hunt for and find the clues being left for us by our Inner Wise Selves.

Together we’ll discover new vistas,
both within ourselves and throughout the world.

Last year I met a new “character” in my dreams. She’s pretty remarkable and unforgettable; she has six eyes. I never gave her a name; she's an image of me.

She populates two three-dimensional watercolor pyramids and a few small paintings, most notably, “Breaking Through the Glass Ceiling”.

Postcards of this image are available, send SASE: PO Box 61707, Honolulu, HI 96839-1707

A few months later I saw another image in a dream, this time of an onion with six eyes. Onions are a ubiquitous food in the world, so this image leads me to believe that we all have six eyes.

This is the first of many more onions in the book I'm creating.

Peeling an onion reveals more of the onion, sort of an internal archeological evolutionary “dig” into our psyche.

Shortly after the six-eyed onion appeared to me, I received an email, seemingly out of the blue, from SARK. She invited me to attend a webinar about a Succulent Wild Business Incubator Program she was starting.

My energy was on high-alert after the webinar so I signed up for the nine-month program.

The weeks leading up to the first in-person retreat filled me with anxiety. I knew I was about to begin a new important leg of my journey through life.

I was scared.

What if I couldn’t do it? What if I couldn’t live up to my potential? What if I failed?

I took all of my anxieties to watercolor paper and created “Eyes of Awareness”.

The painting calmed me down and gave me hope. My anxieties were no match for what was to come.

All of my energies would be joyfully, gleefully released when I allowed myself to move forward rather than stay stuck in fear.

At the first SARK retreat in Key West, we were introduced to SARK’s tool, “Inner Wise Self Love Letters”. Essentially we all have an Inner Wise Self and she/he is always with us.

Many of us have known about this inner wisdom and call it by different names. No matter what you call it, feeling its loving presence is a gift.

I credit my Inner Wise Self with giving me all of the imagery in this post.

I’m delighted to have a new, more direct way of dialoguing with her as a result of working with the SARK team (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy, Dr. Scott Mills, and Suzanne Evans). Mahalo nui loa!

But Wait! There’s more to come.

I’ll share it with you soon. Stay tuned for “My Inner Wise Self and Me, Part 2”.