AARGH! I did it again! I turned my joyful expression, my passion, painting, into WORK!
This happened to me once before, about ten years ago, and it was devastating! This time I caught myself and am taking steps to get back to PLAY. Phew!
Changing habits and practicing new ones requires taking baby-steps. My first baby step was to take a walk (DAH!). This is the first thing that captured my attention on my walk.
Look at ALL of the texture. What do you think this is? Do you see the upside down heart?
The very first thing that caught my eye was the trunk of a palm tree. I'd never given them much thought until I REALLY LOOKED AT THIS ONE on my walk.
My world changed within the first five minutes of that walk! Wow! Just look at all of that texture and movement and LIFE FORCE in that tree trunk!
Okay, I got a bit excited.
I know that to make changes we need massive amounts of self-love and tenderness, with bits and pieces of tough love sprinkled in for balance.
I’m not fond of regimentation. Even though I know that following a schedule can increase productivity, I prefer going with my flow and following my impulses.
I also have to remember that I make my living from my art and that means I have to paint and sell art REGULARLY (as in a lot).
The trouble comes when I can't think of what to paint (yes that happens).
To me there's a real difference between painting for the sake of painting and painting something that I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO PAINT!
There are two paintings here, side-by-side. It's the beginning, not the end.
All of my coaches tell me to schedule my “FREE-” or “DOWN-“ or “PLAY-time” first, before I schedule in other commitments.
Scheduling PLAY first does NOT come naturally to me.
“Downtime” is time to just sit and listen — or to “get bored”. You can lie down, but you don’t have to. You can close your eyes, but you don’t have to.
The only thing to “be done” is to release control
and surrender.
Oh, THAT’S ALL!
Surrendering feels scary, so I’ll start small. I’ll start with five minutes a day and work up to more. The important thing is to start.
I will breathe more deeply and consciously unwind, releasing my clenched fists as I breathe.
Go ahead try it.
It really does feel good — at least in short spurts.
Still a work in progress. It's a triptych, meaning in three pieces, still needs some love.